Silly Christmas Internet Fun | Business

How did Mary and Joseph know the weight of Jesus when he was born? They had a weighing in a manger…

What does he say, “Oh, oh, oh?” Santa walking backwards.

How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.

Who is the favorite singer of a Christmas tree? Spruce Springsteen.

Seriously folks, the holidays can be a stressful time.

While they’re supposed to be a time of joy, goodwill and thanksgiving, for many people the holidays are “a time filled with sadness, self-reflection, loneliness and anxiety,” according to WebMD.com.

The Mayo Clinic notes: “Stress and depression can ruin your vacation and damage your health.”

Although I am not a trained doctor, there is one medicine that I am sure of: laughter.

Fortunately, the internet is full of laugh-inducing articles related to the holidays, especially Christmas.

Jokes, cartoons and Christmas nonsense have special places on the internet and can be a fun way to keep everyone in the right mood.

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without Claus. Drum riff, cymbal crash, ha ha!

Silly jokes, silly jokes, and downright funny jokes are easy to find on the internet. Just go to Google and search for “Christmas jokes”.

See what I mean? If you want to broaden your horizons, look for specific types of Christmas jokes.

Do you want Viking Christmas jokes? The internet has them: “One night, a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, ‘It’s going to rain.’ His wife asked, ‘How do you know?’ ‘Because Red Rudolf knows the rain, dear.’” Doh!

Maybe silly Christmas jokes aren’t your thing.

In that case, go for more intellectual humor, like Christmas lawyer jokes.

You’ll be rewarded with gems like: “The Supreme Court has ruled that there can’t be a Nativity scene in Washington, DC, this Christmas. This isn’t for any religious or constitutional reason; they just haven’t been able to find three wise men.” and a virgin in the nation’s Capitol. However, there was no problem finding enough donkeys to fill the barn.” Wow!

Still not smart enough for you? Try this one: “What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.”

Or, going even deeper, at a more Brainiac 5 level, “The Higgs particle walks into a church on Christmas Eve. The priest says, ‘We don’t allow Higgs in here.’ The Higgs says, ‘But without me how can you have midnight mass?'”

Okay, I’m sure Michio Kaku got that right away, but I have to admit I didn’t get it until my brain started rewinding the many Discovery and Science Channel shows I’ve watched over the years on string theory, Quantum mechanics and the Large Hadron Collider.

Google the joke if you need more information.

I don’t know, friends. I’ve always held that if your jokes require an explanation at the end, they’re really not that funny.

A more joyous Christmas mood can be had with Christmas cartoons.

My all-time favorites are from the world’s greatest cartoon humorist, Gary Larson, inventor of “The Far Side” cartoon series.

Look up Gary Larson’s Christmas Cartoons and you’ll see what I mean (Santa sitting at a typewriter, working on a paper titled “Nine Ways to Serve Venison”).

Sharing Christmas videos (in person, without using Facebook) can be a great family experience.

I highly recommend visiting youtube.com and take a look at one of the funniest, wackiest (and a little weird) Christmas music videos of all time: Gayla Peevey The Christmas Hippo Song.

Peevey, who was born in Oklahoma City, performed the song on the “Ed Sullivan Show” in 1953, at the age of 10.

In a 2007 radio interview, Peevey explained that a local Oklahoma promoter took notice of the song’s popularity and launched a campaign to present it with a real hippo for Christmas.

The campaign was successful and he was presented with a real hippo, which he donated to the Oklahoma City Zoo.

Cover versions of the song were subsequently recorded by The Three Stooges, Captain Kangaroo, Captain & Tennille, The Jonas Brothers, Sesame Street’s Big Bird (with Anne Hathaway), Gretchen Wilson, and LeAnn Rimes, among others.

You will not be disappointed. Ed Sullivan’s 1953 national television performance includes hysterical lyrics such as: “There’s plenty of room for him (the hippo) in our two-car garage. There I feed him, wash him, and give him a massage from him.” Really.

Internet is a tool. Use it to find some holiday humor and help end the holiday blues.