If the universe is fair, the Knicks will beat the Bucks

During their current four-game winning streak, the New York Knicks have been on a revenge tour. It kicked off the last day of 2022 with a win in Houston, and if you don’t feel something extra when the Knicks beat the Rockets at home, I have to assume you’re either too young or too emotionally stunted to have a hole in your heart from the Finals. 1994. Never forget: The Knicks trailed just 63-60 going into the fourth quarter of Game 7. 12 minutes later, Patrick Ewing was wiping confetti from his face. So yes. F$#@Houston.

After the New Year’s Eve victory, the next stop on the revenge tour was a morning massacre by the Phoenix Suns. To understand the meaning of this W it is not necessary to go back in time. The Suns have been the dumbest team in the NBA for a while now. Even before the arrival of Chris Paul, and CP3 is fuck what Sam Spade is: the king of dicks, Devin Booker had already revealed himself as the biggest tool this side of Peter O’. Honestly, calling timeouts and fouling your opponent in a clear loss because you want to get to 70 points? Jesus.

Deandre Ayton seems dramatically surly, and let me tell you, as someone who writes about sports for a living (some fraction of it), Ayton single-handedly causes a stir among sportswriters by being the only player in the NBA who doesn’t type two letters. capital letters in his given name. , so we can’t just remember everyone under one rule. Every time DeMar DeRozan or DeAndre Jordan or De’Anthony Melton does something remarkable, I have to stop and double check how to spell their names, all because Ayton is too good for capital letters.

Then the Knicks defeated San Antonio at MSG, avenging their grotesque capitulation the week before in San Antonio. On Friday night he watched them go to Toronto and pay the Raptors back for their win in New York a few weeks ago, when Pascal Siakam posted the most ridiculous 50 he’s ever seen. In kill bill Uma Thurman’s character had a sheet labeled “Death List Five.” The last name on the list was David Carradine’s Bill, who was also the hardest to kill. The Knicks face a similar task Monday when they host the Milwaukee Bucks.

At first glance, the Bucks seem harmless enough. I mean, the Suns, Nets, and Celtics hate them, which is usually a reason for a medal. But the Bucks have been putting some negative energy into the universe. First, don’t forget that Giannis Antetokounmpo recently tackled a ladder.

The background: After struggling with his free throws in a loss to Philadelphia, Antetokounmpo returned to the court after the game to get some practice on the line. Unfortunately for this millionaire athlete, there were and are other people on Earth who also have jobs to do, including some blue-collar workers who, I guess, made sure the hoop was at the proper height and angle. . . And if you think that’s not a big deal, ask a Denver Nuggets fan. This. What made this even more disgusting is that Antetokounmpo has over the years carefully (too carefully, I say) created an image like this simple creature who only cares about basketball and winning and being loved. There is never a false step. He’s the star-struck immigrant, the American Dream with extra jumps and wingspan for days, too pure to care about shoe contracts and ego and anything beyond wins.

Antetokounmpo’s brother, former Knick Thanasis, is also racking up quite a few bodies in the way of cheap fouls and antagonizing opponents. Blake Griffin, Montrezl Harrell and Marcus Smart have had run-ins, though Smart has at least come out of it praising tanasis for defending Giannis. Dylan Windler didn’t stay self-conscious enough to extend the same grace.

Gabe Vincent isn’t a fan either.

If I got paid overtime, I’d do a deep dive into the history of Grayson Allen; suffice it to say that we need another Internet to house that man’s criminal record. The Bucks are so disgusting that their orbit attracts all manner of wretched hives of scum and villainy. Aaron Rodgers is a regular on the court. ’nuff said.

You see why even beyond beating the Knicks in their last five meetings, the Bucks need to be knocked out of their position. The Knicks, morally, deserve to win Monday’s game. Whether that happens is another story entirely, but there are plenty of reasons to make fun of the stag. Come on, revenge. Do your things.

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